I am so sorry about your sisters tragic death, and from reading the book I could almost tell something like this was going to happen in the near future. You talk so much about how indians on the rez drink way too much and that they die at an extremely rapid rate due to alcohol. I could see a tragedy due to alcohol coming in your life. I was exremely impressed though at your recovery. You took it hard, but not hard to the extent in which you can't bear to live anymore. I know how much you loved your sister, but life doesn't slow down for you. When you think about it, your sister ran away to start her own life and be succesful, you need to do the same to cover for what she can no longer do. True she left mainly because she saw you go to Reardan and decided to take action herself, but in no way should you ever even think about putting the blame upon yourself for her leaving and death. It Was HER CHOICE and you just set an example ahead of time. Drinking was completely her decision, and i am terrily sorry for that loss. As I was saying, she left to do the same thing you have in mind, to get a decent life away from the rez and poverty. You must set your heart at going to school and getting the grades you need to go to a good college, and from there the path is paved for you. I saw your freshman report card and it was quite impressive, a couple A's, A-'s and a few B's, but its no big problem, the important thing is you keep improving every day and graduate as a confident man ready to overcome his lifestyle on the rez and live decent life with a decent or great income, all depending on how you go about everything now. Hope you do well Arnold, and all the best to you.